Love and Amour

Realization, serendipity and restoration.

These three things have been on my mind for the past six months or so.

I suppose when something is destroyed (I doubt it can ever be 'someone'), these are the things a human being can turn to, to mend the fractures and fissures of time, to help overlook that which has been lost, in order to replace it.


It can be a terrifying tailspin just trying to get yourself together after something close to you has either been destroyed or taken away from you...

And I suppose, for me, it was my love for another human being.


It's interesting how in a moment of doubt one can reverse all that one has worked for, or invested oneself in, or given oneself to.

It's a bit sad and harrowing to think of the 'amount' that you gave in, for that is not how love works. But I suppose, love and time work together - or they just don't work. I suppose it can't be love in that case.

It could only be infatuation or amour.


In that case, it's only a perception perhaps that your love was received for what it was - in your darkest and deepest days, another might be pushed to transcend their boundaries to love you - or else, if things continue to conduct themselves on the surface, the person might continue to be infatuated with the idea of you, in their lives.


It was that kind of a moment where someone was pushed to love me for who I was - and that could somehow never be enough for them.

I wonder about the demands of infatuation and amour. What does it require? For an idea in mind, when things were superficial, to be preserved? However deep the two engaged in love (or 'love' - from the perspective of the other) might have seemed to both?


I think that the answer to this is yes.